I'm having a hard time.
My dog is still alive at almost 17, but I already miss him. I miss what he used to be and I know I can never have that back with him. I KNOW what I need to do, but I can't do it. He's been in the house all day. He's afraid to step off the landing and onto the porch. He's afraid to walk down the grass ramp I built him because he's afraid of falling. It's time, but I just can't do it. I'm overwhelmed with grief but also with guilt because I want to have a dog again, a dog that can do dog things and I just have this deep down feeling that I'm getting rid of him for a selfish need. I won't wait to get another dog, I will start looking immediately because my house is not right without a dog - everything is off balance without a dog here, but I can't do it. I'm so torn on this because he had a really good day yesterday (well, as good as you can have at 90 years old).