Regarding 9/11 and proportionality, this website says that since 2001, there were estimated 70,000 Afghan and Pakistani civilian casualties. If we use the 10k civilian casualties estimates in gaza at face value, there were almost 14% of the deaths of the 22 year response to 9/11 in about 1.5 months.
If we project the current rate to 22 years, assuming 10k per month, that would be 10,000*22*12 which would be 2.64 million.
Math seems to suggest the response to 9/11 was much less in terms of civilian casualties than the response to 10/7 if we take current casualty estimates at face value.
https://watson.brown.edu/costsofwar/costs/human/civilians/afghan#:~:text=As of March 2023%2C more,massive increase in civilian casualties.