Sigh.... I'm just trying for a little light hearted and terrible humor. I'm not here to learn nothing.
But while we're at it, I hate the application of the tree. I hate dropping the money on it. I hate decorating it, I hate undecorating it, I hate taking it out afterwards, I hate cleaning up all of the damn needles afterwards. I kind of like the lights. But essentially since the woman to whom I'm related by marriage wants a live tree, I'm forking over $100 to be annoyed.
And think about it from the tree's perspective. If they're getting chopped down, you know damn good and well they would prefer to sacrifice themselves to become a baseball bat over anything else.